Ode to Chiloé

Intro

I have spent hours contemplating on cramped buses,
Squashed between sweating bodies, in the pounding rain and stench;
The vibrant yellow flowers
Against the grey sky and the rain – a forget-me-not,
And forget you I shan´t, but how do I explain?

Part I Pleas and Questions

I have sat drinking mate in rainy
Deserted restaurants, that only served empanadas and curanto
When the neighbours came to drink litres
Of beer in the early afternoon;
When they can’t pronounce “lets get in the car”
Because the salmon’s out and beer is everywhere.

Lumber built you, salmon broke you,
Left broken windows, empty houses, half-built;
Salmon left the rolled up nets that stink
Of decomposing fish; and the ghost towns
And the drugs – thousands of buoys,
Gravestones of a trade, tombs of opportunity.

I have wound through deep bushes
Avoiding the thorns, sat there in the constant rain
Among the drunkards and gangs of dogs,
Looking aimlessly, like them, at palafitos,
The manicured and the abandoned

I soaked up what I could of memories
And slurred speech of your farmers and fish folk,
Fear and hope pours from their wet eyes,
Specter memories of the mounted hero
The hundred churches and
Six minutes of pitching earth, to make way for the
Sea, that pitched upon the earth and swept the houses out –
And not by the heaving, sweating mingas but the rolling Pacific,
“Only by name” are one man’s words, who’s house is perched
On a bluff, far from the reach of the Pincoya

I´ve thought about your hanging bell flowers, pink and purple,
That speckle the bushes and run the confusing lines
Of island, point, mainland… where do they come from?

You are lost I think, in the lazy work
Of yelling “Cheese! Sopaipillas! Empanadas!”
And drunk on salty air and booze.
Part II
The Nightmare

This is what you dream of:
Blue, grey, constant rain,
Soft smell of the falling flying water, straight from
The sky,
Skulls and spaghetti come from the sky,
Pale from the midnight – A blue wind
From below till the tingling blade
Feels down your spine – no stars here, just
Never-ceasing drops that drill the eardrums,
Nerves are exploding all your senses, motionless.
You awake, sweating, to the still rain and quiet sea.

Another day passed and this is what you dreamt:
Colourless still and the bouncing drops
A dark wind is felt in the heart but not
The sea, not a ripple.
Only now, a bow breaks the calm and
The blue sail painted by a sorry moon
To appear from nowhere, and they board your soul
All the eyes in this blue hell are closed
Until fantoms rip you apart and screams pierce
The raindrop blanket – you are awake, sweating, headache,
Voiceless.

Part III
Dogs

They sleep all day like the resting fields
Green-bordered green to the rippling sea
Where leathery skinned ancients speak
Through half-mouthfuls of teeth, penniless
To wander down the seashore where some
Beg for beer – or just peel garlic and potatoes,
Screaming in the street –
So they sleep all day till sun sinks away
When they roam, limping about to settle
Endless canine battles and wake the
Sleeping workers who come from their
Dry fields and abandoned salmoneries.
The grey, the grizzled, the wild mad crazy
Bastards that hang by municipal bus station
Garbage bins to stare down anything
And spit through their teeth
Or snarl into the empty street
Because everybody has gone to sleep now,
Caressed by drink, beaten and persuaded
By the hand – that hand of mother earth –
The hand of supply and demand.

Part IV
Blood and Caves: Invunche

Maybe somewhere below the man´s little shack on the bluff
Under the fields, there is a sea
Where caves open in the dark body;
A flavour, cant say – a smell
A flutter of wings or what
Doesn´t use a broomstick to fly –
Its all charcoal, like the remains of a curanto fire,
In the earth, a burn, a scar, impregnating monsters.

Maybe, in their sea – vivid if you close
Your eyes – the shadows and blood
Human flesh in human teeth, putrid
Carcasses that make this sea an ocean
Of humanity – torcioned and twisted –
You do this to yourself! In the vastness of an
Endless dark, Invunche´s foot comes to his eye
And the arm they sowed in has been devoured
By his thirst – only a bump remains, until the growls
And the bodies that feed a cave.

This is respect.
This is humility.
Say it to yourself now,
Not only to the lashing sea.

Part V
Awe

I have stayed up all night, by lantern
Light, to the sound of fighting strays
In the street – always wondering
How to weave everything, like chilote wool
Everything that is: the tinny songs
That blast from shops; sheep wool artisans
Weaving their lives away, each knit to the
Rhythm of the infinite waves.
And where are the clams in this labyrinth?
In streets the shouting children collect oysters
300 pesos a piece, on the beach, sorting through
Barren algae and beached boats and shit on tidal flats;
Flung into a flaming pit to the sound of accordion
Flying kerchiefs, flowing dresses, stomping feet.

I lie here, jaw dropping in the grassy bluff
Above a wild animal “nothing pacific about it” –
Mist blows off crashing whit foam, curling
Toppling penguins into steadfast cows that graze
The foggy seaside pastures.

Who comes, who goes,
Who flies across spotted blue to whit cones
Like specter locomotives, lumber children
Chugging the mazy coastline of timber and iron,
Between pastures
A green – these blades – that slice the sea
Into millions shattering the shuddered landscape
So wistful branches alone for days, until
Herds come from un-walkable beaches, impassable
Straights, of a frigid sort
I see the billion birds calling banefully to
These pages, streaking their bills with ink,
Dipped in the never-ending sky that kisses
A salmon-marred bay.

Part VI
The sickness

A massive rock sits in my throat,
It contains everything that came in my pores,
A saturating fog that lifts for the
Southern cross and love – a sheet –
In the wind – millions as one and a million into one,
Moving with the power of a weeping soul,
One into this stone, one into this singular
Blue memory of brown eyes and ice cream;
The abyss of garbage caves and the putrid
Smell of rotten fish, meeting of eyes, explosion of laughter,
Driven in the solid stone the hearty hand and a number,
A blinking paradox that chokes me when
I think of grease and toothless drunks
Conversing with a priest, an educated man,
In the empty wood of towering varnish and spirits –
Never arrives, never let in –
But by a rebound, like your people that
Swim about my granite but couldn’t swim
Their boats to safety in the rusty straights
Between abandoned and uncultivated fields.

I sit, coughing and choking
On this saturated chilote stone
Here and there in space time
Sweet salt comes to my lips, I see eyes and
Millions of birds wheeling over the periodic
Dolphins; screeching cry of a lapwing – abrasive but evocative;
Others come with burning, acidic, sad and angry tastes,
Is this about you? Or me?
But a painful and life giving egg is forever
Nesting in my soul now, terrifying and orgasmic,
Beautiful and ugly, frightful, happy – must
I continue?

Part VII
In Memory

In the end, what is left is a flower,
A tiny pink and purple chandelier, a lamp
That explains the delicacy and beauty
A ravenous appetite.

It is a memory – frightful plaguy delicate touch
Of paint on textured mural, illuminator
In a corner the sun doesn´t reach;
A miniscule explosion that opens into giant
Open space, that occupies and imagination
(And a throat)
No, it is imagination. I imagine.

I´d like to thank the governor of Alaska for...

My footsteps are slow, steady. They have life. They plod along the saturated mud, a dark brown. As I move, the boot tread lifts the brown to show a charcoal black print on the tideflats. The bay curves around, and from here I can see the mainland, a giant volcano in the distance, but only when its clear; and the smell of decomposing algae fills the air - an agreeable and nostalgic smell, almost fishy, until it gets directly under your nose and becomes half nauseating. I walk with ten other people to hide in the reeds that line the edge of this remote chilote beach to wait.
We read, chat, sleep, eat, we laugh and we take bets on numbers. Once or twice dolphin fins are seen slicing the surface of the quiet bay.

After three hours and much radio communication, the tension starts. Its like the hour before a race: you know what to do - everyone does - but Jim´s orders on the radio become more frequent - "Steve, please move slowly along the beach and see what happens" ; "Nathan, can you please cross the river and walk toward me very slowly" ; "Jiji, arm the box".
Our hearts are pounding. We crouch in the reeds, ready to run. The only one standing now are Jim and Humphry, looking through binoculars and telescope ona tripod. From time to time they speak in hushed tones. No one else says a word, we are almost holding our breaths, but every time we do breath, the rising tide and the light breeze that has started, bring the comforting smell of algae to our nostrils.
We wait.
Jim comes on the radio again and he mumbles something. BANG!! The canons go off and the net flies out. Before it lands, thousands of shore birds are in the air, crying in surprise. Confusion is everywhere, except in the reeds, where everyone knows what to do. We run to the net, across the soppy beach, through grasses, mud, water, slimy seaweed. Birds sweep away in the hundreds in different directions and by the time we reach the net the only sounds are our heaving breaths, the breeze and the frightened birds trapped in the net.
We then take the birds one by one into keeping cages, from which we bring them to be "processed." Each person has a job, some put number or colour tags on the legs, some take blood, some weigh the birds and Humphry examines plummage to determine age... Then we let them go.

I met Jean-Francoise and Myriam in Puerto Varas almost three weeks ago. We stayed in the same hostal for one night and that was it. They are biologists from Quebec and were going to Chiloe to study birds with a project run by the Alaska conservation organization (i think thats what its called). I headed to the same place, Chiloe, because those were my plans and after a few emails and much confusion Myriam told me they were in some cabins inLlau-Llao near Castro. So after travelling around the island with two Chilean friends that I met in Castro I packed my bags grabbed the first ride i could get to the turn off for Llau-Lao and got on my way. I was dropped off at the turn off, at dirt road, and saw a sign for the cabins so I walked the 1.5km and went to the reception asking for two Canadians. I was led to Jim, the leader of the project (who was naturally quite confused at my arrival). He brought me down to the cabins and my reunion with my canadian friends was enough to lead everyone to believe we were long time friends - oh how the road unites us!
After chatting with Jim about things I ended up, long story short, helping out with the project of catching and tagging these birds. I lived in a cabin with JF and Myriam as well as a gregarious and wonderful Chilean masters student. We all got along so well! Dinner was served and all food was paid for as well as the accomodation about 20 ft from a secluded bay.
I was welcomed into this community of biologists (some of them extremely well-known and powerful in their field) with open arms. I asked hundreds of questions and nobody ever treated me like I was an idiot; they simply explained what was happening or what such and such meant; we talked about politics, (I was surprised - or maybe not - to find out that Alaska as well as being one of the most beautiful states in the US is also among the most conservative). We laughed together, and some even cried when JF, Humphry, his bubbly wife Jacky, and I got in the truck to leave today. A few of us spent the last night on the beach below our cabins, with a fire, a few bottles of wine and a jug of Pisco sour (not me of course).

This is what I love about travelling, and of course what I hate about it as well. As I stood along the highway, alone, with my thumb out, I could feel a lump in my throat, and it hasn´t gone yet but I´m sure it will because this is a roller coaster where the hills are much longer and higher than the lows. As for the road ahead, I don´t know what it brings but I´m hoping some more lumps in my throat because that will be the sign of a beautiful experience!!

Huevonado: three things that are F%$·ed

In Chile the word "huevon" and its derivatives are similar to the word fuck in english, mainly for its various possible uses. The "h" is always silent in spanish but in Chilean spanish here and there, other letters are silent too, or pronounced distinctly from other countries. It has been very difficult adjusting to these differences, as words do not sound like they "should". For example "huevon" is pronounced "hue-on" and "huevonado" which would be equivalent to "fucked" is pronounced "hueonao". Indeed there are some other notable exeptions in Chilean spanish, such as the dropping of "s´" and the pronunciation of "r" after a "t". "Nosotros trabajamos" means "we work" and would be pronounced in most countries basically how it is written, the j"r" slightly rolled. But in Chile this is pronounced "no-otro trabahamo" - the "r" after the "t" is not rolled but pronounced more or less like an english "r" - but this only occurs after a "t". The deeper you penetrate into the country side the more letter, syllables and words are dropped and changed, to the point where I was camping in an old woman´s backyard on the island of Quinchao which is off of the island of Chiloe, and I did not understand anything that the old woman´s 40 year old son said - barely a word! This...is hueonao!

If you come 701st in a race its not that good, usually. But if there are more than 6 billion people participating in the race... you are right up there. Yesterday the final elections for president were held here in Chile. The two candidates were Eduardo Frei and Sebastian Piñera. Frei had been president about 8 years ago. He was from the "Christian Democrat Party" an aparently left leaning party. However, what Pinochet had not privatized Frei finished off, by selling water rights and rivers to private corporations and allowing Canadian mining companies to blast away a massive glacier to get at a gold and silver mine in Northern Chile. Piñera is, if it can be believed, far far more rightwing than Frei. While we can never say that brothers are equal, it should be a sign at least that Piñera´s brother was one of Pinochet´s ministers. Piñera also has something else going for him...he is the richest man in Chile and the 701st richest human being on the planet earth!!! He owns a large part of the island of Chiloe, he owns mining companies and the national/international airline LAN Chile. He has a private helicopter that he flies to "relieve stress" and also a private jet to avoid using the Boeings and Airbuses of LAN.
Yesterday, after 20 years of "left" rule, the right, the ultra right finally won. Piñera got more votes than Frei. But there is a problem... anybody who is marginally left of centre-right simply doesn´t vote as they are so pissed off and fed up with politicians who rob their compatriots. Most of the chileans that I have met simply don´t vote.
The Lie: For some reason, as in many countries, the poor people of the countryside, the families that drive around, 6 of them crammed in the cab of a 1991 rusty nissan pickup, the families that eat bread, potatoes, and sometimes milk, the families that can only afford the $2 return bus trip into town once a week...the families on the edge of pure poverty, vote for, and celebrate rambunctiously the victory of one of the most conservative, elitest, richest, militaristic politicians if not in the world, certainly in the Americas. They believe that the man who promises and smiles will give them a better life, will lower their taxes (when he charges nothing to the massive mining companies that export daily and by the kiloton, copper and other natural resoures that belong the the people of Chile). Indeed, Piñera is rich at precisely their expense, it is a direct correlation. Chilean military is the strongest in the continent at their expense both monetarily and by cost of life; Chile is one of the richest countries in natural resourses and, like Canada, its government hardly charges extraction or export taxes for the multinationals that take from the ground - all at the expense of the poor; while it may be the richest country with the strongest economy in Latin America, Chile belongs to a top ten that nobody should belong to - it is number 8 in the poorest income distribution in the world! All this because of people like Piñera. Yet the poor farmers vote for him... this... is hueonao!!!

Commerce in many countries, at least the few that I´ve been to and more generally western countries, is founded on organization and official partnerships, deals, forms, permission etc. In Chile, from the people who I have talked to , it seems that this is not the case for the most part. If you have no money in Chiloe you go down to the port and unload fish: you simply go and say I will unload fish, how much will you pay me? - we will pay you 10pesos (about 20c) per kilo. You unload an enormous amount and you keep doing this day after day after day. You stop smoking and drinking and you save up enough to buy a small van or pickup. Now you go down to the same port, to the same massive fishing boat and you either make an agreement to drive cartons of fish to the plant from the boat, or you simply buy fish at firesale prices and sell it on the street at competetive prices. Or you spend all of your money on clothes and sell those on the street. If you can save up enough for a small bus, you can begin to run one of the municipal or local routes, the buses that fill up every 15 minutes - here in Chiloe, bus drivers have a nice status... a house, maybe a restaurant... Commerce and the socal ladder are hard and apparently random - indeed it seems there are no rules and instead it is just a big huea!!

Here to there and back again: more adventures and two parting of ways

He starts his day walking 4 blocks to his office at 9am. He works there on his cases or heads down to the courthouse for trials. At 1pm he is off for lunch and by two, he is sailing his little yacht on the Atlantic. If it is too ugly or rainy y goes to his house, with its french doors and its vines and he sleeps the siesta or gardens until 6pm. Then he goes back to work for two hours and calls it a day.

I don´t know his name. An argentinian man in his early sixties perhaps, with whom I chatted only a bit, about the tragedy of native populations here and in Argentina, at the hostel in Ancud. When Camila and I decided to leave the hostal to go the a small little village in the sunken river valley he offered to drive us part way, then the full way. He said he loved to hang out with younger people because its good for one´s soul. When we arrived at Chepu Adventures (a small outfit at the confluence of three large rivers that empty into the pacific) he greeted the proprietor and after hugging and kissing us both he told the man to "take good care of them". This is a whole new experience for him. As a lawyer he has always stayed in hotels when he travelled and was confused and enchanted by the comunal cooking and the social atmosphere of the hostal!

After spending 5 nights in Puerto Varas, walking about the base of Volcan Osorno (another aparently perfect white cone) and along a turquoise mountain river from a glacial lake in the mountains; after hitchhiking with a german guy I met in a rented car driven by a Polish couple with whom we chatted for hours sitting on the shore of Lake Llanquihue eating german inspired Kuchen; after meeting two delightful Canadian biologists and a french man passionate about Montreal - after all of this I headed to Chiloé, the home of both the potato and of a massive salmon-farming industry, home to humbolt and magellan penguins as well as a mythology that could easily pass for a Grims brothers tale. Here in Ancud, the first day I met Jonathan and Camila (and bizarrly about 5 additional solo travellers). The three of us spent time roaming about the streets, cooking meals and chatting about the morality ideology and spiritual benefits of travelling. We went to a local festival (we were 3 of only 5 tourists there) called the Muestra Costumbrista (literally "demonstration of customs or traditions") They sang and danced a traditional dance, and Jonathan and Camila ate the traditional Curanto (a barbecue of seafood, meat and a sort of potato patter - much like gnocchi batter - made in the ground on a fire and then covered) The three of us seemed to click right away, it was beautiful so it was sad to see Jonathan go only two days later.
The next day Camila and I rented some sketchy bikes and biked the thirty kilometeres on windy, hilly dirt roads to a vast beach where we took the touristy option of hiring a boat to take us out to see the penguins and sea lions! Even without the life, the Pacific ocean and the rocks are, as the guide said, only pacific in name! but breathtaking! We were too tired to bike back so after about 5 kilometers along the rolling bluff we caught a lift in the back of a pickup truck. When it started to rain they invited us to cram into the cab with them and we took a detour to Ingrid (the driver´s) favourite beach.
stones, violent waves
misty grass and the a salty fog blowing in wisps
toward the lonely cows that march
in the mud and the pale green, between
rocks of black and the blinding white
Yesterday, after three days in Ancud, Camila and I decided to head to a more rustic destination, we thought. In 1960 a massive earthquake destroyed much of Chiloe and its distinctive architecture, something that we always think of when we think of earthquakes. What we rarely think of is the damage, or better, the change to ecosystems. Chepu is located close (I had hoped right on, or closer but alas) to the pacific ocean, where three rivers combine. Here there was a massive old-growth forest that populated with trees the deep green valley. The quake shook the earth, dropping the level of the land by 2m thus sinking a huge part of the forest to a level reachable by the tides. Now, instead of looming forests, all that remains is the skeletal remnants, the blanched and algaed stumps of what once was a living organism. We took a kayak (rather crappy kayaks, but its the scenery that counts) tour on the river this morning and all sorts of birds and even a river otter, navigated the spooky still of the branches and the pale colours, the glassy reflections. I have seen vast tracts of sunken forest in a canoe before all over Ontario, but the scale of this is unbelievable - three rivers, bjillions of trees, a bunch of salt water that burns away the life and leaves bones, roots and opens the door to a new sort of ecosystem.

After a meal with some Germans and a Croatian in a truckstop I bid my travel buddy (Camila) of 5 days goodbye (its amazing how empty you can feel when one or two or x number of people fill a space so rapidly that is normally filled by deep relationships of family and close friends) and I returned to Ancud to pick up my stuff that I had left here. Tomorrow is another day and I don´t know what it brings because im leaving Ancud and I don´t know where I am going. Certainly more adventures, more people, more experiences. Hopefully I will soon be working at Refugio Mawenko another hippie farm sort of deal on the island, which im really excited about.

This has been long, and for that I apologize, but its been a while and some times I´m just bursting at the seams so there you have it!!!

This one´s for the dogs

Have you ever thought you were going to die 5 times in half an hour? I thought this deserved a little entry.
In other news have you ever thought you would involuntarily (of course) defecate in your pants 5 times in half an hour?

...
Now in other news I arrived after a short bus rid and a ferry crossing, in Ancud, Isla de Chiloé northern Patagonia. The hostel is right on the beach that curves around the bay, spotted with paintcrusted fishing boats. Its full of windows and wood and is a beautiful set up. I however, was getting quite cabinfeverish so I thought I would go for a run, up into the steep hills that rise up behind the colourful metal shacks speckling the steep unpaved grid of streets. My heart rate stayed well above 140 even for the extended periods of statueness though. I discovered, much to my chagrin, that most people in this town have some sort of un-neutered combination of terrier, german shepard, doberban... unleashed, untrained and naturally, given the size of its testicles, fairly territorial.
The first dog ran out at me barking like a banshee. I froze, and avoided eyecontact completely...the dog stood about 10 feet away and continued to bark viscously. I made a movement, ever so slight, ever so slow, to back away. Mistake. The massive german shepard took five paces toward me and continued to bark ferociously. I waited what felt like hours although it was probably no more than 5 minutes, until I tried again to melt out of my petrified cowering position. This time I was able to pick up a rock - security of mind rather than of body, as I was to find out.
I finally made it into the hills behind the city and circled around the back until I reached another dirt road. There I startled another dog, this one a white terrier sort of dog with a slit eye (battle wounds) After it got within about 15 feet of me I played the same game of don´t look, don´t move, don´t breathe even though your heart rate monitor says 125 (and you´ve been standing still for 3 minutes - yes abnormal!)
After the second encounter I ran more slowly (which is another psychological tool for my own peace of mind) and I came to the realization, when 5 dogs looked like they would rip me apart but for a godly fence that separated us, that my rock that I had kept from the first near-washroom experience would be futile in a battle with 5 hungry, territorial, un-neutered dogs!!!

The key of course, to the fact that I am writing this blog with no injuries is my focus in maintaining steady breathing and not becoming afraid. I feel that the crazy dogs can sense that you are afraid. So if you simply calm your breathing, look straight ahead, clear all the blood, and ambulance and statistic filled visions from your cloudy brain and live in the moment - stand, listen to the wind, feel the presence not of a threatening animal, but of a threatened animal, and be patient. Things, so far, knock on wood, have worked out!

Thats my dog story, there is a lot more to tell about the past few days, but I will save that for later.
thats it from here!

Verses from the hills

A song from the green

Here, the fog blows clouds into the workers eyes
Blows rain in shafts into the pink blossoms and the
Thorns, fragile leaves, flowers
From the timber and mud.

You stand to see the sun pierce
Through the white grey blanket
And the steel roof is drilled with drops.
Fury,
But from its edges a soft dripping of calm drops
And the tired trees bend away from the onset.
Thats not thunder, thats paper, leaves, branches,
Wind in the endless fenceposts
That mark the rows of green on black.

Bare timber!
Bare timber!
Stray cow! Roaming about the roller coaster
Green; markings on a mountain,
One behind the other
Side by side, sculped by the invisible wind.

The fire heart

I am the earthy heart of these embers
Dripping red into the fury of flames;
I am these dying fibers falling quiet
Into the rage of life;
I was there, in the endless winter rains
Soaking into deep green and putrid rot;
I flew with the bees, the birds, drinking pollen
And the many fiery rays of summer struck me into fibers
Of the many, the sometimes fallen
Tree fog sillouettes on the moving shroud.

Down here in the burn I am changing;
Down here in the burn I am heating up
But falling apart, my earthy heart gives
Its life to the licking colours, single lines,
Disintegration, layer by layer, my body melts
Into the inferno; my soul
Grows, jumping up, reaching for the man made paradise,
But no, Alas!
I have walked, I have stayed, only bending
Long enough to know my flames are futile
They won´t reach the cerulean stratosphere to rain
Down again - ...or maybe...

Smokey wings rise, a shadow of red
Up until you won´t see me anymore,
Up to "invisible heights"
Meet with the birds, speak with the
Earthly things that never touch down here
- so remnants may rain down in the end
But we won´t know, just life

Animal Farm: We are all human

This farm; this community was born seven years ago to two parents: social justice an sustainable community. The children of these were socially concious human beings searching, in their idealism, a better world, a world that came from and returned to its natural home; the planet. A world that respected the rights of indigenous people, their land, way of life, community and resources. These children, this hybrid community saw and sees itself as guardians of the earth on which they live, as well as of their adopted way of life.
In my days here I have heard much of the theory of this place: a communal space for all and anyone. A place where we respect, communicate and protect both the earth and eachother. Capitalism and neoliberalism and fascism (yes, we are talking about a backlash to Piinochet) have all perverted what should be the true relationship between humans and the earth and a true appreciation of existance (this, it has been stressed, includes the acceptance embrace of the reality that is death).
Inevitably though, this idea of "community" requires the existence of people, the children of a marriage of ideologies. And of course it requires their interaction. Without naming names I should like to say, or rather it pains me to admit, that when all these people come together supposedly for a common cause, some insist on seizing the spotlight while others don´t mind working backstage like dogs. Some refuse to work and live in a fantasy world where they talk about ideas but never light the fire in the morning, let alone gather wood. Some complain, some insist on being right every moment and clam up if called out... In short, a battle of egos in a place where we should least expect it! Indeed when the man who won´t work leaves, everyone laughs at his expense and the tourists who come on new years are not allowed to participate in our new years lamb roast, and when they do are resented by some people...
Don´t get me wrong, one on one these people are fantastic, they have it figured out: politically, ecologically, environmentally, socially. Some are social activists with an interest in politics, society and the environment while others are intellectuals (anthropologists, sociologists...) who have become involved in a movement they believe in. At times we sat around the fire and read poetry by Nicanor Parra and Pablo Neruda. My friend Eric (one of the founders of Trafkura) stood up (it was just he and I in the dark Ruka, rain poured on the tin roof and the warm fire kept us sain inside the mud/wood walls) and recited a poem which I thought was beautiful...I thought he had written it but it turns out it was written by Neruda the Nobel Laureate!!!

All these problems that I have just ennumerated I should like to point out revolve around my own conception. In other words, in a community setting like this I am well aware that I cannot leave myself out of the equation. I am just as guilty for working hard and not complaining and keeping my misgivings about people´s actions to myself.
Unfortunately I have reached another conclusion which does not surprise me, which I think I knew all along anyway. And that is that the collapse of great ideas, or the weakness of ideological structures is not the thought or structure of its fruit but the flaws of its creators, its builders, thinkers; in short it is the folly of the human being itself rather than his/her ideas. The structure collapses not because of the weakness of the beams or the poor building, but because we maltreat it, play with fire and never fix the leaks, until one day our community and our ideologies burst into flames or drown in the inundation of their own egos!


Change of topic...
The day after New Years we all went up to Icalma, a small town on a lake in the mountains (about 40km of dirt road from the nearest paved road). We met with a Mapuche (Mapu means of the land, che means people) family on the lake. The pace is different, we shared another fire lamb roast with them (when they have, they share) and we rather controversially kicked some people off the beach (they had outboard motors - the argument according to almost all should have been that the motors damage the environment - the air the water the soundwaves... - but somebody started off with "this is a private beach" and that incited some hard feelings on the Mapuche side because they felt that this was not the right way to approach the problem. Indeed this was not a private beach and that is exactly what they are fighting - they see themselves as guardians of the land not owners, they don´t want to own just live in peace.) Unfortunately, despite these people´s apparent close connection with nature and their own spirituality they drink excessively.
Finally, we went for a drive and along the way we stopped off at some relatives of some of the Mapuche folks. We were greeted with kisses, hugs, "sit down please, have a beer...". And while we were supposed to be back by 2pm we did not get back until well after 2:30. Gaston (the Mapuche who was with us) looked absolutely relaxed and kept chatting and hugging and kissing his family members while some of us stood their trying to be patient. I was told though, that this is absolutely normal!

Anyway turns out everyone was leaving Trafkura yesterday: Gonzalo and Carola and their kids Isadora and Emilio, Kate, Ricardo, Francisco and Francisca, Eric, Ivan and Metina. I had planned to go anyway so I got a ride with Ivan and Metina into Temuco and from their I took a bus to Puerto Varas. I arrived in the pouring rain at 11pm at this quirky french-run hostel and I am now relaxing and waiting for my farm clothes to be washed and dried.
anyway thats all from here
until next time!